Entitled Douchebag Gets Free Pass for Threatening to Murder a Flight Crew [UPDATED]

Remember the days when talking shit on a plane was serious business? I was on one of the first planes to Boston after 9/11, flying twice a week for the next year, and those were some heady times for flying, man. Pilots wouldn't just introduce themselves in the pre-flight announcements — they'd also mention their war service records and I, for one, was always massively appreciative for such information. God help the passengers who started shit on a flight in 2012. I witnessed a few different occasions where some dim-witted business traveler flirted with heavy beatings of the physical variety from gangs of swivel-eyed, hyper-alert passengers, just for mouthing off to a stewardess.Now apparently you can get away with saying pretty much anything. Take the entitled douchebag flying from Boston to San Diego on Tuesday night. This boozy bearded bro apparently brought his own drinks on board with him so he could laissez les bons temps rouler, apparently (it was Fat Tuesday, after all), and to save a few bucks for jello shots in Pacific Beach. When the crew advised Grizzly Shithead of the well-known prohibition against consuming personal alcoholic beverages on a plane, HE THREATENED TO CUT THEIR THROATS WITH BOX CUTTERS. One might recall that this is exactly how terrorists murdered a number of stewardesses and pilots on 9/11. He then began shouting, "We're all going to die!" and "You're all going to die," though inexplicably clarifying, "I'm not a terrorist." Unsurprisingly, this statement proved spectacularly ineffective in reassuring the crew and other passengers.Citing "an abundance of caution," the pilot diverted the flight to Denver, not announcing the unscheduled stop so as not to further dismay the babbling shithead with his cap turned around, who had ruined everybody's flight. Upon arrival in Denver, TSA officials and local police boarded the plane and escorted Good Timey Booze Bro off the plane, where he was placed in the drunk tank and given time to sober up and collect himself. Here's the amazing thing - Denver police declined to arrest or charge him. He threatened to kill a fucking flight crew in the middle of a flight! He terrorized a plane full of civilians and caused a commercial airline to throw away the flight plan and to make an unscheduled stop for almost an hour, so authorities could remove him from the plane. File this story under "Are You Shitting Me?"Last month another drunk asshole attacked a flight attendant and passengers. Like the guy who's not a terrorist but who threatens to murder flight crews, her actions required an emergency landing and her removal from the plane, was quickly followed by an arrest. Well, the difference there is obvious, right? I mean, the second woman actually battered a flight attendant. Had she only threatened to kill her, everybody would still be pals! But what about this other woman, who, in response to a request from a stewardess to turn her cell phone off, replied, "I kill white people like you." She was arrested for assault and booked into jail. The woman was charged with assault because the very definition of that crime is threat of imminent battery - sort of like threatening to slit someone's throat with a box cutter.Inexplicably, the guy on the Boston flight received the same treatment they give to dudes covered in mole sauce, passed out in the backseat of their cars in the Taco Bell parking lot. He has yet to be identified but the Internet being what it is, that information will not remain shrouded for a great deal longer. He'll get the Anjali Ramkissoon treatment for a couple of weeks and then it will all be forgotten. Meanwhile, a couple hundred people had to reschedule rides, miss connecting flights and leave family members waiting in airports and parking garages — not to mention a positively sphincter-loosening, emotionally-scarring, "God, please don't let me die" type of experience — due to this entitled asshole's petulant, selfish and violent behavior. And he got off scott free.[UPDATE: Feb. 11, 2016] It now appears that the reason the authorities did not charge the guy is because nobody was injured and/or that according to the authorities, charging him would have required removing all 181 passengers and crew to interview them before rebooking them on later flights. What kind of weak-ass sauce is that? Look, if I were on that plane, my desire to get to San Diego would substantially outweigh my desire to see this maladjusted moron get charged. But the craziest thing about flying these days — and pretty much true for the past thirty years or so — is that the authorities have the contact information for everybody on the plane, including the crew members he threatened to murder in mid-flight. So, presumably, if they wanted statements, they should know where to get them.